What it’s like to be an older dude in a metal band
(for those of you who aren’t)

--Modeled after “What it’s like to be a black girl (for those of you who aren’t” by Patricia Smith

first of all, it’s being 44 years old

and feeling like you’re simultaneously 24

and 64, it’s being asked,“is that your son

playing drums?” suspecting there’s something

wrong with you for being out this late, your wife

and daughter long past sleeping when you finally

take the stage. it’s feeling self-conscious about

your nearly non-existent beard, your short, gray

hair and the protruding gut partially hidden by

your bass. it’s sweating way more than you should,

dreading the aches in hips and knees, suffering

sleep deprivation from crawling into bed two hours

before your wife crawls out. it’s basking

in the confidence of decades of live performances,

judging those baby-faced newbies imitating youtube

glory and over-reaching for intensity. it’s not

giving a sh*t if you look cool but focusing

on the heaviness of your music. it’s backing away

from overturned barstools, broken glass and mosh pits.

it’s cool points and bragging rights when colleagues

casually inquire, “so, what’d you do this weekend?”

--Greg Adams, Wednesday May 13, 2015